Signs that a marriage will end in divorce.

I just found this article and thought it was interesting enough to share. I don’t know much about the rest of the site or what it’s worth, but there is plenty of truth in the article by Shanel Yang, a lawyer and writer:

4 Signs That A Marriage Will End In Divorce

“Experts found that there are four quick and easy, but reliable, signs that a marriage won’t last…

When all four of these signs exist, chances are very high that your marriage won’t last. And, these clues can be found in even the briefest arguments between married couples…

We can all improve our communication skills, especially when it comes to arguments. We can’t avoid all arguments, and we shouldn’t try. Relationships grow the most from conflict and healthy conflict resolution…” (source)

There have been studies done on the topic, and this article features a fairly calm and collected newlywed couple that exhibit the kinds of habits in their arguing (however brief or trivial) that tend to lead to the breakdown of relationships. And they aren’t necessarily violent, loud and dramatic habits.

I don’t want to give away the whole thing here, so this is just a summary of the four signs:

1. Defensiveness

2. Stonewalling

3. Criticising

4. Showing Contempt

There is a brief list of counseling tips at the end. Communication is the ultimate key to a quality relationship, and this would be a great place to start to get enlightened.

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30 Responses to Signs that a marriage will end in divorce.

  1. Olivia says:

    Why would your marriage end in divorce in these ways?Could they end another way?Like,If one of the partners only wants sex,and the other dosen’t.Couldn’t that result in an ending of marriage?Or if they always fight about the child?There are many ways a divorce can end,but why are these four points the main reasons?

  2. no2marriage says:

    The best sign is when the couple says “I do”, from that point there’s at least a 50/50 chance.

    Would you get on a plane that had a 50/50 chance of crashing? If your employer paid you half the time, would that be ok?

  3. Margie says:

    It seems to me that the best marriages are the ones where the two people have common interests and goals; also, the money to pursue these specifics. I am not married now but my observation is that people who are well mated and enjoy the same things with the financial wherewithall to pursue these dreams and ideas are always the happiest. What does it boil down to, – I think just pure luck. Some people are LUCKY IN LOVE and, unfortunately, others are not!

  4. Kim says:

    If you want to know IF a marriage will fail, ask someone who has never been married, much the same way that if you want to know how to raise your children, just ask someone who never had any. They have ALL the answers.

  5. John says:

    I have been with the same woman for twenty eight years and married to her for twenty two years.I have never strayed or cheated on her,although I am not shure of her.The sex stoped about three years ago and we have only been toughter four times in the past three years.It has been hard since all this began I turned to the bottle to escape the pain and thought of failing in my marrage.I ended going into rehab three times for my drinking and recieved two DWI’s.She has become unbearable at time and even become physicaly violent.I am not a quitter and I am a one woman man.I always try and keep a positive attitude,and constantly try and make things right,but I am to the point to where I am begining to feel there is no hope.She always threatens me about divorce/telling me to move out,and the next day it’s like nothing has happened.I am so frustrated,I am a kind and loving man,and I need a partner in life,life is to short to be miserable all the time.I would like to find a woman who wont judge a person by past mistakes.I am tired of being married and alone.I want and need a lover/partner.I want to enjoy life again.Is their a woman out their who is a one man woman,and wants friendship and maby more.

    • mzharleywood says:

      No person should stay in a marriage where there is substance abuse. This only contributes to problems..turns the abuser into a were-wolf.
      You mention that she wants to “throw you out” one day, & the next “acts like nothing has happened”.
      She wants to get rid of you after you have become a were-wolf one nite, then sleep it off, and “everything looks fine” the next day..She is an enabler and is in denial..
      You’ve got to stop drugging..or leave the marriage.

    • Carmella Dupree says:

      Just by your misspellings and major grammatical errors I would say you’re close to illiterate. Who would be interested in that?

    • maggie says:

      John:
      Have you considered that she may be having a rough time going through menopause. I assume because you have been married for 28 years that you and your wife are middle aged. Many women can really turn into someone else if symptoms are severe. Don’t just assume you know what is going on but try to talk to a doctor for more info.

    • Gin says:

      You don’t need another woman, you love the one you barely still have…and it sounds like she has, is still trying to love you. You both need professional help, both of you are addicted, you to the booze and her to you…I know this because I am dealing with a similar situation. If you can both get well from your addictions, then try Retrouvaille…well, things may just work out. We wait waaaay too long to make things right in this short life here on earth, don’t wait any longer.

    • yvonne says:

      I am a woman and it sounds like your wife is having major pms problems and she needs to see a Dr. for this there is help for that sort of thing if you can get her to go, I have seen this many times in my friends and just tell them to go get a hormone shot it does help… good luck

  6. Cindy says:

    Also, some one that cheats once they will do it again and again. The last two men in my life sheated on there wifes. They even told me about it and I thought that would not happen to me, but it did.
    Once a cheater always a CHEATER……….

    • JENNIFER says:

      Thats not true in all cases. I sadly have to admit that i have cheated once on my husband and in no way in hell would i ever do it again!!!!!!

  7. Karen says:

    I’ve tried marriage it was’nt for me. I now have a healthy relationship with no license hanging above my bed. To me marriage is a license for ownership. It’s a legal piece of paper with a heafty cost attached. If you stay and work at it, good for you, but you still end up paying. If it does’nt work the the price you pay is attorney fees. Final thought: Why is a marriage iicense the only one you can’t renew?

  8. terry says:

    well, i’ve been married for almost 30 years. i wont like and say its all been a piece of cake. there have been times when i thought i wanted out, but even at those times i still wanted to take him with me. we’ve been richer/poorer, better/worse, sickness/health. for us, its just a matter of finding common ground and giving each other enough space. we each have our hobbies and we have the things we like to do together. being in our early 50’s, we’ve learned to love unconditionaly;doesnt mean we always like what the other one does, but we discuss everything. we’ve learned to talk with each other, not at each other. we knew each other about 30 days before we got married. i cant imagine being single now and having to go thru getting to know someone, or letting them get to know me. our house will be paid off in 8 months. we make plans to spend time together. you have to put forth the effort constantly to make it work consistantly. its like faith, you either believe and follow thru or u dont, period.

  9. terry says:

    *its lie, not like.

  10. Ron says:

    The One Obvious sign that says a Marriage will end is when you get Married! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. VICKI says:

    I HAVE BEEN MARRIED 2 TIMES NEITHER WORKED OUT FOR ME.I GIVE UP ON MARRIAGE. I AM STILL MARRIED TO MY SECOND HUSBAND, HE WALKED OUT ME 6 YEARS AGO. I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR HIM EVER SINCE.

  12. keisha says:

    These sound like the correct 4 reasons that a relationship will end. I was dating a guy and all he ever did was criticize me, and tell me that he didn’t want to have sex with me because i was fat and stinked. He was cheating on me all the way. We broke up and now I am happily married to a man that chases me around the house for sex all the time. It taught me a lesson don’t be with someone that doesn’t want to be with you.

  13. Nancy says:

    I’ve been married twice before I finally met the man I love with all my heart and soul.Sometimes I think we just search for the right one that fits……and then it’s to late when we find out it doesn’t. I married my child hood sweetheart ….we’ve known each other for 44 years….and we couldn’t be happier.You definitely have to work at it together, communication is key….open minded, speak your mind and never settle for anything less than you have to give and it will work out.

  14. Sarah says:

    I’ve been divorced twice, currently married to my third husband, no children with any of them. I can say from experience that marriage is like many other things in life, a choice you make and take a chance on. You can’t control another person, change them, second guess or read their mind. Don’t even try. All you can do is stand by your own belief system, do your best to be as fair as possible in your relationship, and if it doesn’t work out the way you hoped, get over it and move on. The one thing that really bothers me about others who have been divorced is the attitude of “I’ll never get married again, it’s for the birds” and “why on earth did you get married a third time, it obviously doesn’t work out”. Well, I’m a registered nurse with many years experience of dealing with everybody else’s life history good and bad. It’s nobody else’s business to tell another person how they should choose in life, nobody else gets a vote in my life. If I had been fortunate to have children my priority would have been about them, didn’t happen the way I wanted it to, neither did the marriages. Oh well, too bad, this one doesn’t work out…..NEXT!!!!

  15. Dee says:

    We dated for 6 years. Have been married for 32 years.. seperated for the last 2 years. He started cheating.. I believe when we were married around 10 years. We have 4 children. I assumed he was cheating. Of course he kept saying no no no. I was too busy at home taking care of the kids alone, no help from him.
    Til he finally confessed to ALL his cheating. I told him to leave, he didn’t want to. Because, he was afraid to tell his parents. LOL can you believe that one! So finally once one of his brothers got divorced and he saw it didn’t “kill” his parents, he left. But lied to his parents.. blamed one of the kids.. as to why he left. I so want to go tell his parents the truth. So they don’t blame the child. And put the blame where it should truly be, on the cheating alcoholic. he wasn’t a good husband, a terrible father. But, his parents won’t believe me, so why bother.. but yes, IF I ever get the chance, I will tell them the truth.. one day. And yes, once a cheater always a cheater. I should have learned.. it was MY fault, he cheated when we dated… so I can only blame myself for marrying him in the first place. But I guess, I thought he would be faithful.. oh how wrong I was. Selfish.. is what he is..and still is. He was never a good supplier money wise either. My parents always had to help, still do.. he never took the kids on a vacation, only my parents did. My parents bought all their clothes.. oh how I could go on and on. I Married the wrong one.. very bad choice.. what can I say.. now I am paying for it. I just feel like I failed my kids in doing this.. so very much so and I live with this pain every day of my life for doing this to them. :( so sad..

  16. tom says:

    Having a healthy sex life is key!

  17. brooke says:

    i have never been married but yall telling truth some people get married because they lonely and don’t wan’t to be alone. and women married too take of a man like put down payment cars and stuff.too me that’s dumb. some people friends and family but in married and that what make the married end and started cheating and going out and lying to spouses and most them go back with first wife or husband and people want to see how many times can tie the knots.

  18. brooke says:

    some preacher women married former drug dealers and felonys then all the sudden they find God and but they been in church for long time.and some of them call them self preachers. you ask me quick married will end up divorces because they did’nt wait on God too get a real good mate. most lady preachers is fake. and need to step out of pulpit before they burn hell over. that goes the men also too. that at any church.

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