Sigh. Mediation has never seemed so far away for me. I recognize I’m sounding dramatic, but, well… I guess I’m just not getting along with the program I’m enrolled in (despite it being year #2). I’m not the only one; most, if not all, students in the program are really unsatisfied (and that is a severe understatement).
I’m just not feeling support from the direction of my faculty, my professors. I always assumed professors were supposed to be beacons of intellect and inspiration; at least, they were during my Bachelors process.
The biggest danger here is not of me dropping out of school and not finishing the degree. The biggest danger is that in practice, I like my day job a lot more than my formal studies. I never thought it would happen that way, but here I am, thoroughly enjoying my job (internet marketing for a fair-sized website) and thoroughly despising my university.
The negative karma has totally thrown me off, and I’m way behind in choosing a thesis topic (for now, it’s something to do with the role of collective memory in protracted conflict). I’ve never been way behind in anything in my life, but here I am, feeling alone in my studies and very uninspired.
Sorry about all the negativity. I have been taking steps to take a turn – like seeking my own informal means of study online, through conferences, observations. I guess I was hoping getting all this out in writing would push me to work harder, with more vigor and positive energy… Starting tomorrow?